I felt good for a day. Whole day, top to bottom. It was a Monday. I was hoping that maybe it was going to keep going, but I forgot that often, I'll feel good before I get a migraine. It's not unheard of, a euphoric migraine aura. It started for me in college, and don't I wish it happened every time? Then I could at least get stuff done before I crash. Monday was great, and Tuesday I felt like I had gotten hit by a train. In hindsight, I think it was a result of the pent-up fury from the weekend. We're talking a migraine, but more than that it felt like a fever as well, (even though I really didn't have one) complete with body aches. I had made it 4 days in a row without taking pain meds, when the girls' dad came to visit. Bad, news.
At least he plans ahead lately, vs just showing up unannounced on the doorstep from 7hrs away like he used to. (not joking) And when he doesn't keep his word to the kids, it's such a well established pattern, that they don't cry for long because my Mom and I have explained it so many times that they just have to appreciate they time they have with him, regardless of when it is. (or when he said it would be) I am the adult, the parent, the planner, the care-taker, and God knows, the protector. So when he plans ahead and *gasp* communicates AT ALL, we'll take it. After all, I have to remind myself that it's his insurance I have.
However, and it's a pretty big however, that does not mean it's ok to let Emily, death-by-ANY-nut-Emily, who carries epi-pens on her at All Times, bring home a NUT SHELL from the playground because she thinks it's a sea shell. He admitted that he didn't even look at it. Bastard.
And when he wanted to make them fish for dinner and I approved all the ingredients and I'll give it to him for making a good effort there, the good effort became null and void when he handed the girls plates full of fish with tiny bones in them and gave them the go ahead to eat. When I saw the bones that he again admitted that he didn't even bother checking for...well, you can imagine. Actually, my Mom verifies that I handled both situations very well. Very calmly. I mean, everyone got an earful about the dangers of swallowing fish bones and getting them lodged in various parts of your body, etc., but nobody got punched in the face and/or genitals and/or thrown out of the house!
And as soon as I told Emily that what she had in fact brought home from the park was a pistachio shell, her eyes got wide, and she went and washed her hands, and we talked extensively about it. Calmly. And she had no reaction whatsoever, since the sand had apparently sufficiently scrubbed out the remaining nut proteins. But I of course have greater issue here. I feel like we completely unnecessarily, narrowly dodged disaster TWICE in one day, so our insurance provider could check on his investments. And since then I've had anxiety dreams, and of course the hit-by-a-train/fever chills/migraine. I don't need this. And I want better for my girls.
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