Saturday, August 23, 2014


My Mom bought 7 dead chickens today.  The guy at the farmer's market threw in a bunch of fairytale eggplants for free along with a couple of lumpy, spiny cucumbers.  Our last two chicken carcasses went into the stock pot tonight with some safe veggies and safe seasoning, so now we've got soup.  We are just getting the hang of corn phase 2: extreme elimination.  The oil should be actual olive oil and not cut with cheap vegetable oil (corn) and the salt is Himalayan pink rock salt ie. no additives or anti-caking agent such as dextrose (also corn) and the rest of the spices came from Penzeys which are notorious for not using corn products in their manufacturing procedures whereas most other companies such as McCormick's either use corn products or are hit and miss and therefore absolutely not worth it.  Corn phase 2 is not for the faint of heart or mind.

I freaked out on my Mom later this afternoon because I thought she had given Sasha some bottled water.  In case you have never read the ingredients in your bottled water, you should try that.  Many brands have straight-up labeled corn derivatives in them, which is at least convenient.  (Kirkland, Dasani) Luckily mom hadn't given Sash any yet.  So just to recap, there is probably genetically modified, pesticidal corn in your water.  Why is cancer projected to be the number one killer in the U.S. by 2016 again?  But I digress.  What I wanted to celebrate was the fact that we left the house on an errand of fun, and we totally had fun!  A friend's birthday party was attempted and because I woke up with my head burning and promptly took meds and went back to bed, I didn't have to bother with nap time later!  So it actually worked out. (:  Nice when that happens.  Ah, but corn...corn and learning.

So let me back up.  Adventures with our useless allergist are quickly drawing to a close, but I'm glad we jumped through that hoop.  If nothing else it's helping me figure out where on the corn allergy spectrum Sasha is, thanks to the "really rare!" reaction she had to whatever's in the scratch test solution that she's apparently not allergic to. *rolls eyes*  IgE, IgG, what the eff ever.  I'm glad she's not anaphylactic, I really am.  But I swear to you, it would be so much easier if she were, because people understand what the hell that means.  Then I could tell people definitely, "No corn chips at the party or Sasha will die" instead of discovering that she's scraping her own back off because of cross-contamination in the bouncy house.  (lightweight long sleeves next time)  If she ever makes it back to school, I don't know what I'm going to do.  I've pulled her from Kindergarten and am reluctantly homeschooling her for now btw since she still has a migraine every day.  She loves school, and I have zilch energy to do a good job, as all my energy goes into food prep.  I'm not even taking care of my own nickelbrain very well lately.  But pulling her out every day because her head hurts and she's crying and god forbid having to deal with food at this point doesn't exactly work either. *vomits slightly*

But back to good news!  The hope of help.  Since a small army from near and far donated time and labor for us to have a free chest freezer, my Uncle put some shelves up to store the mason jars!  And some more friends are going to do a community garden with me in my backyard!  Double bonus, some of my awesome friends are even going to help process the gobs of safe produce that comes in on Thursday, as my Mom has a late day at work and I am already overwhelmed, just as general daily protocol.  For as isolating as this all actually is, it's good to still have community.  Let me rephrase that.  It's necessary to have community, or we'd be dead by now.

I'm still waiting for every day to not feel like torture.  Friends and family speak of strength, and I don't deny feeling strong (yet simultaneously haggard), but I could really dig not feeling tortured every day.  I would love love LOVE to have a really nice number of rescue med days this month or next, like 8.  As if, I know, right?  Total pipe dream.  If I have 16 or fewer this month that will be progress and I will be grateful.  (I already have 12 for August) But oh my God, when every single day doesn't feel like torture with or without meds, shoot, I'll pick up a guitar again and sing.  Right now I'm glad that Sasha is back to being a reasonable human being, even with a migraine.  I'm glad that we left the house on an errand of pleasure and not on an errand of find-food-or-starve.  I'm glad that the meds worked today, and that I didn't even come CLOSE to running out this month.  And I'm glad that when Indie got out of the backyard while we were gone, the neighborhood boys brought her back, and called me to let me know. <3

Random funny, Emily is singing herself to sleep.  I used to sing everyone awake, well before I could speak clearly as a baby.  Em will sing Sasha to sleep when she's not feeling well.  Sasha sings more during the day, and Em does too, but Em is the lullaby artist.  *sigh*  I guess I'll keep them.