Another cake is in the oven, for lo, another birthday week is upon us! As I ponder my relationship with flour of late, it occurs to me that 'though my relationship with cakery has changed over the past couple of years, I still love it. I have a whole Facebook photo album dedicated to the cakes I used to make for friends on various occasions, cakes that would take hours of dying, rolling, cutting and shaping fondant to whatever design sat in my mind. It was good times. But all the underlying cake and icing came from boxes and and cans save one, which sucked. And all contained mass amounts of refined, processed everything, chemicals included. I knew that then, but it was special occasion stuff, not every day stuff. And in the process of shaping cake for covering with fondant, a lot of it went in the trash. But no big, it was cheap, and I baked a lot of it for starters.
Man, now I cringe just thinking of that last sentence. Now everything I bake is a very big deal, none of it is cheap, and every crumb gets eaten, even the ones that hit the floor. (By a grateful two-year-old defective Retriever) Take for instance the cake that just went in. It's 90% organic, and I made 3/4 of the flour that went into it. I sat there with my blender and made it in small batches, it was messy, time consuming, and then I had to make a flour blend and then I had to measure the flour blend for a half cake for Sasha's school plus a whole cake for Sasha's little party, two days before I even THOUGHT about actually making any cake! I have a personal and intimate relationship with flour, and am becoming more and more proud of the cakes I make now because they are becoming more the art I once enjoyed making so much. Funny 'though even when I was making Ace of Cakes style cakes, I always thought it would be cool to make my own cakes from scratch. Anyone else see a twisted sense of humor at work here?
I kind of just caught on to that one. First I realize that all my mad skills at being an information junkie are being put to good use as a mom of two kids with opposing food allergies. Hah, very funny God. Now I catch on that my love of Cakery is up and running, REALLY running in ways that are much more beneficial than ever before, since everything is now Waaaaaaaaay from scratch, organic, and gluten free. If Em can make it to two more days sans migraine, she will have gone all of August and most of July migraine-free, which is phenomenal. And even more phenomenal than that believe it or not, is the mind blowingest statistic of all: I went an entire hormone week without prescription meds, or heavy non-prescription meds. That hasn't happened in 13 years. 13 YEARS!!!!! Yes, it's just sinking in, and yes, I am crying right now. I can hardly believe it. For the first time in my life, something is starting to work.
It's not that I'd lost hope completely, it's just that to survive, I'd stuffed it in a trunk way out of sight so I wouldn't have to look at it or deal with it regularly. When every day is more exhausting than the english language has sufficient words for, hoping that this new med or method will actually help in the long run just tears at your heart more every time you even look at it, and it fails. But no matter, because Heaven awaits, and somehow you keep trucking on because the Lord provides. But look, look at us. My body has fewer meds in it because I'm one preventative med down from doing so well on Botox, fewer residual chemicals since we eat as much organic as we can get our hands on, and fewer meds from the best hormone week in 13 years. Emily was getting 4 migraine days month, and then she stopped. Her behavior and her school work has improved greatly, and she isn't even the one who was scratching her skin off from the wheat and corn! *shock* *disbelief-except-I-know-it's-happening* I still have to take a nap every day, (for now) but naps make you smart and beautiful. Google it. (;
**Wait a second, I just had a birthday. Make that 14 years. Wow...
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Frankencupcakery
The starting point for this Franken-ed recipe is one that my friggin' wonderful friend Elisabeth made me aware of, from elanaspantry.com for chocolate cupcakes, using coconut flour. (which are great btw) Coconut flour is pretty much where the similarities end. I have Frankened the crap out of it for various and sundry reasons, and I was pleasantly surprised by the awesomeness of it! But be ye warned of two things:
1. These look like chocolate. They are not chocolate. Chocolate and cheap wheat tastes like America. Banana and carob tastes like elsewhere. Carob tastes more...exotic, and dusty.
2. I eat weird food all day every day, so I think these are super amazingly great. However, my friends who eat normal food just tried these and also approve them except for one little kid who doesn't like bananas. If you don't like or are allergic to bananas, don't make these, or use something else beside banana.
I am excited, for they are:
Gluten Free
Egg Free
Corn Free
Nut Free
FrankenCupcakes!
For Banana Carob (Franken)Cupcakes
Makes 9 (I know, weird) and they fall in the middle after baking. Don't worry, fill it with icing. Mm.
Preheat oven to 375.
Line your muffin tin with stuff. I just figured out how to make my own! (Because I was out, but ready to bake. Whoops. I used parchment paper cut into circles, folded like fans, and then smashed into the tins. Anyway...)
1/4 Cup Coconut Flour
1/4 Cup Carob Power
1/4 Teaspoon Sea Salt
1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
3/4 Cup Mashed Banana (which is more than one but less than two bananas. sorry.)
3 Teaspoons Ground Flaxmeal
1/4 Cup Oil (or Butter)
3 oz Honey (or 1/2 Cup if you prefer more sweet, I don't, so I use less.)
Mix the dry stuff together. Mix the wet stuff together. Flaxmeal here is a wet stuff. Mix the dry stuff thoroughly with the wet stuff. It looks kind of like brownie batter at this point. Scoop it into the muffin tins, you know the drill. You'll probably have to get a spatula and really scrape the bowl clean to get the cups 2/3 full each. My oven tends to bake quickly, so it only takes about 15 minutes, and I flip the pan around once in the middle so it bakes evenly. If your oven doesn't suck, you may be able to skip the drama. They're done when they smell good and a toothpick inserted comes out clean!
For Carob Buttercream Icing
1/2 Cup Butter (that's a stick of butter)
1/4 Cup Carob Powder
1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar (or to taste. I prefer less sweetness so, ya know...)
1 Tablespoon Milk (or Cream, as implied by ButterCREAM. I had Milk and it worked.)
Little Splash of Vanilla to taste (sorry, I didn't measure)
I put the butter straight from my fridge into my mixer and let her rip for a while, so softening the butter wasn't an issue. If you don't have a mixer of some sort, definitely let the butter get soft first! Then mix the crap out of everything. After I made this and iced the cupcakes, I put the leftovers in the fridge because I knew I was going to have to make a second round of cupcakes because they were so good as to qualify as a new food group, and I thought there would be enough icing to go around since I ice kind of sparingly. Well, after sitting in the fridge and getting re-mushed around, the icing kind of separated a little. It still tasted amazing, it just looked a little less smooth. Oh my gosh, writing about this is making me wish I had more right now but it's all gone...sad...
But there you have it! A whole new food group. (; And, it's easily made diary free if you just be sure to use oil instead of butter for the cupcakes, and omit the icing. They're plenty good without the icing, so long as you like Banana. And if you're allergic to banana, I dare you to try another fruit! (Like apple, and then tell me how it worked!) The banana and flax act as an egg substitue, but I understand that other pureed fruits can work as well. I used banana in combination with the flax since I was using coconut flour which has Absolutely no binding properties whatsoever. So here's to successful Frankecupcaking!
1. These look like chocolate. They are not chocolate. Chocolate and cheap wheat tastes like America. Banana and carob tastes like elsewhere. Carob tastes more...exotic, and dusty.
2. I eat weird food all day every day, so I think these are super amazingly great. However, my friends who eat normal food just tried these and also approve them except for one little kid who doesn't like bananas. If you don't like or are allergic to bananas, don't make these, or use something else beside banana.
I am excited, for they are:
Gluten Free
Egg Free
Corn Free
Nut Free
FrankenCupcakes!
For Banana Carob (Franken)Cupcakes
Makes 9 (I know, weird) and they fall in the middle after baking. Don't worry, fill it with icing. Mm.
Preheat oven to 375.
Line your muffin tin with stuff. I just figured out how to make my own! (Because I was out, but ready to bake. Whoops. I used parchment paper cut into circles, folded like fans, and then smashed into the tins. Anyway...)
1/4 Cup Coconut Flour
1/4 Cup Carob Power
1/4 Teaspoon Sea Salt
1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
3/4 Cup Mashed Banana (which is more than one but less than two bananas. sorry.)
3 Teaspoons Ground Flaxmeal
1/4 Cup Oil (or Butter)
3 oz Honey (or 1/2 Cup if you prefer more sweet, I don't, so I use less.)
Mix the dry stuff together. Mix the wet stuff together. Flaxmeal here is a wet stuff. Mix the dry stuff thoroughly with the wet stuff. It looks kind of like brownie batter at this point. Scoop it into the muffin tins, you know the drill. You'll probably have to get a spatula and really scrape the bowl clean to get the cups 2/3 full each. My oven tends to bake quickly, so it only takes about 15 minutes, and I flip the pan around once in the middle so it bakes evenly. If your oven doesn't suck, you may be able to skip the drama. They're done when they smell good and a toothpick inserted comes out clean!
For Carob Buttercream Icing
1/2 Cup Butter (that's a stick of butter)
1/4 Cup Carob Powder
1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar (or to taste. I prefer less sweetness so, ya know...)
1 Tablespoon Milk (or Cream, as implied by ButterCREAM. I had Milk and it worked.)
Little Splash of Vanilla to taste (sorry, I didn't measure)
I put the butter straight from my fridge into my mixer and let her rip for a while, so softening the butter wasn't an issue. If you don't have a mixer of some sort, definitely let the butter get soft first! Then mix the crap out of everything. After I made this and iced the cupcakes, I put the leftovers in the fridge because I knew I was going to have to make a second round of cupcakes because they were so good as to qualify as a new food group, and I thought there would be enough icing to go around since I ice kind of sparingly. Well, after sitting in the fridge and getting re-mushed around, the icing kind of separated a little. It still tasted amazing, it just looked a little less smooth. Oh my gosh, writing about this is making me wish I had more right now but it's all gone...sad...
But there you have it! A whole new food group. (; And, it's easily made diary free if you just be sure to use oil instead of butter for the cupcakes, and omit the icing. They're plenty good without the icing, so long as you like Banana. And if you're allergic to banana, I dare you to try another fruit! (Like apple, and then tell me how it worked!) The banana and flax act as an egg substitue, but I understand that other pureed fruits can work as well. I used banana in combination with the flax since I was using coconut flour which has Absolutely no binding properties whatsoever. So here's to successful Frankecupcaking!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Drinks by Tuesday
I went 19 days! I've done that before, 19 days and no migraine. But these 19 were different; productive, musical. [read:AWESOME] And this migraine is just an aspirin migraine so far. Hehehe, ask me tomorrow after early rehearsal and two sets of worship music. As for triggers, it could be the schedule change, the huge week we just had, the mass amounts of awesome, or the organic coconut flour carrot cake I baked today. Of course, my money's on the fact that we're changing meds again, Plus the aforementioned. We're fiddling with meds because I've been doing so well! But oh, change...well, change means one less preventative med. [less meds=good] Specifically the one that keeps me from alcohol (and grapefruit?) which means assuming I survive the weekend and the beginning of the school week, and I feel up to it, I could be having drinks by Tuesday! I could have a grapefruit drink in like, 3 more days!! That doesn't sound good at all, but it's the principle of the matter.
So, Em's Neurologist is Jamaican, and pretty cool. He took time to listen, learned Sasha's name and shook all of our hands upon entry and exit. Since Em had fewer migraines in July and none so far in August, we're kind of in a wait and see phase. Now that I keep a tighter reign on all our schedules, that seems to have done the trick. It's funny, every doctor, and I know it's their job, brings up food. So I tell them about what we eat. And then I have to tell them over and over because no one believes what I tell them. Don't they read about cults?!? It's just like that, only for medical reasons!!! We have the bracelets to prove it! Only, a lot of people who have the medical reasons still don't take care of themselves obsessively like they should, and I've seen firsthand the consequences. Also, people in actual cults are often secluded, because it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to function in the general public. I guess I just explained to myself every doctor's disbelief. *sigh* If everyone would just obsessively eat properly, it would make my life sooooo much easier...
My Neurologist believes me when I tell her about our food habits. She's threatening to send her kids to my house to eat! But we're only ahead of the game because my kids have had such bad reactions to food. It's definitely a trade off. Heck, if nitrates didn't make me feel like crap, we'd probably eat cheap bacon! It's one of those ahead-of-the-game-at-a-terrible-price deals. I gotta be honest 'though, halfway through making the cake today, I realized that it was organic and it was very cool. I made an organic cake from scratch today, or as my grandmother would have said, "I made a cake today." :-/ Eggs, milk, coconut flour, spices, sugar, butter, carrots, all organic because that's what I have in my house! And maybe that has anything to do with the reduction in (disappearance of?)Emily's migraines and me feeling better? I read about a lady who cured her migraines by going completely organic, and I have nothing to lose but food that's been genetically modified to tolerate chemicals designed to kill living things that need water and oxygen to survive. And cash. But we don't eat out or go anywhere or do anything, so there you go. And I think any adjustment we have to make financially to eliminate dangerous chemicals from our food and skin products, is worth it. Did you all catch the fact that Johnson and Johnson is going to pull a whole list of "chemicals of concern" like Formaldehyde, from their products by 2015. By 2015!!! It took Sasha's hair falling out for me to start making our own shampoo, and I'm pretty sure it was the gluten that did it but still. Wake up call!
This is not the life I had planned 10 years ago, a day after turning 23. But this is the world we've been given, the times we live in, the body in which my soul is housed. I didn't even love the cake, truth be told. But it's safe for my family, and they all loved it. So I'm pretty sure I'll be making it again. The frosting was pretty rad. Maybe it'll go down easier with some coconut rum, on Tuesday...
So, Em's Neurologist is Jamaican, and pretty cool. He took time to listen, learned Sasha's name and shook all of our hands upon entry and exit. Since Em had fewer migraines in July and none so far in August, we're kind of in a wait and see phase. Now that I keep a tighter reign on all our schedules, that seems to have done the trick. It's funny, every doctor, and I know it's their job, brings up food. So I tell them about what we eat. And then I have to tell them over and over because no one believes what I tell them. Don't they read about cults?!? It's just like that, only for medical reasons!!! We have the bracelets to prove it! Only, a lot of people who have the medical reasons still don't take care of themselves obsessively like they should, and I've seen firsthand the consequences. Also, people in actual cults are often secluded, because it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to function in the general public. I guess I just explained to myself every doctor's disbelief. *sigh* If everyone would just obsessively eat properly, it would make my life sooooo much easier...
My Neurologist believes me when I tell her about our food habits. She's threatening to send her kids to my house to eat! But we're only ahead of the game because my kids have had such bad reactions to food. It's definitely a trade off. Heck, if nitrates didn't make me feel like crap, we'd probably eat cheap bacon! It's one of those ahead-of-the-game-at-a-terrible-price deals. I gotta be honest 'though, halfway through making the cake today, I realized that it was organic and it was very cool. I made an organic cake from scratch today, or as my grandmother would have said, "I made a cake today." :-/ Eggs, milk, coconut flour, spices, sugar, butter, carrots, all organic because that's what I have in my house! And maybe that has anything to do with the reduction in (disappearance of?)Emily's migraines and me feeling better? I read about a lady who cured her migraines by going completely organic, and I have nothing to lose but food that's been genetically modified to tolerate chemicals designed to kill living things that need water and oxygen to survive. And cash. But we don't eat out or go anywhere or do anything, so there you go. And I think any adjustment we have to make financially to eliminate dangerous chemicals from our food and skin products, is worth it. Did you all catch the fact that Johnson and Johnson is going to pull a whole list of "chemicals of concern" like Formaldehyde, from their products by 2015. By 2015!!! It took Sasha's hair falling out for me to start making our own shampoo, and I'm pretty sure it was the gluten that did it but still. Wake up call!
This is not the life I had planned 10 years ago, a day after turning 23. But this is the world we've been given, the times we live in, the body in which my soul is housed. I didn't even love the cake, truth be told. But it's safe for my family, and they all loved it. So I'm pretty sure I'll be making it again. The frosting was pretty rad. Maybe it'll go down easier with some coconut rum, on Tuesday...
Monday, August 13, 2012
Survival of the Persistent
Em survived the first day of school! And I mean that literally. More like, Em survived her first day in the cafeteria surrounded by kids eating PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!!! Actually, she sat at the end of the table next to a ham and cheese sandwich. I mean next to a kid who was eating a ham and cheese sandwich. Obsess much? Geeze, days like today, I really envy the Moms who just get to bring their brand new first graders to school, take pictures, talk to the other parents, and then just go on their merry way. I had to battle the doctor's office for the epi-pen release form. Twice. Twice because there was apparently a space-time vortex between the fax machine at the doctor's office and the one at the school office, and just as well since on my third (THIRD) trip to the dr. office today to deal with them I discovered that the epi-pen release form was only halfway filled out. Am I seriously the only patient of theirs who has a kid in school with food allergies? This from the same doctor who forgot to refill Em's prescription for epi-pens, even 'though he said he would after I reminded him at our last appointment. Twice. TWICE!!! UUGGHH!!!!! And also a huge blue truck wanted my lane this morning on the way to school. I had to swerve so he wouldn't hit us. With my babies in the car. And then the rat bastard honked at me. I swear, some days are just like that. But like I said, Em survived the first day of school, complete with road hazard and cafeteria experience.
I am selling cookie dough and magazines if anyone's interested. None of that cookie dough is coming anywhere near my house, but you can buy it if you want. It will probably kill you in the long run, I'm sure it all has wheat, corn AND nuts in it, and tastes amazing. I can vouch for at least one of the magazines 'though, it's a science magazine that I get. Ah, school. Forget school, enough school, let's talk music!
I've been feeling really good lately! Well, really good for me. For instance, crazy morning run-around (school, dr. office, school, dr. office, pharmacy, dr. office, store, etc..) and after nap time I still managed to cook dinner which involved bacon. Now, all this awesome is compounded by the fact that I have recently changed nap time to coincide with a new school schedule, as well as the fact that I got up early yesterday and led two services of worship music! Oddly or perhaps not, it's been since I bought my very first guitar, the only guitar not given to me or that I've not inherited but that I've actually purchased. My dream baby, my Lowden, aka Heath Rogers. And I've not just been playing the Lowden, I've been paying attention to some of the other guitars in the house, and have actually been playing them (or having my friends who can Actually play, play them) outside the house! It's been wild, and hopefully just the beginning. And just today, Emily switched quickly between 2 chords on the ukulele. She was pleasantly surprised. I was like, "See, practice DOES work!" Oh, to see the little neurons firing and connecting...
So, be it Botox, diet, or Lowden, I'll take it. However, my fingers are KILLING me like I don't ever remember them killing me before, not even when I first started learning to play the guitar. #outofpractice #needloweraction #comicaltowatch
But seriously, it's freaky to go two weeks feeling worse than you have in months, and then to go the next two weeks feeling better than you have in months before that. I don't know what that means. I do know that I'm having a good stretch, and that has been a rare thing. And now I have my dream guitar, which has somehow inspired me to do things I've never done with some of my existing instruments. Crazy? Maybe, but not nuts.
I am selling cookie dough and magazines if anyone's interested. None of that cookie dough is coming anywhere near my house, but you can buy it if you want. It will probably kill you in the long run, I'm sure it all has wheat, corn AND nuts in it, and tastes amazing. I can vouch for at least one of the magazines 'though, it's a science magazine that I get. Ah, school. Forget school, enough school, let's talk music!
I've been feeling really good lately! Well, really good for me. For instance, crazy morning run-around (school, dr. office, school, dr. office, pharmacy, dr. office, store, etc..) and after nap time I still managed to cook dinner which involved bacon. Now, all this awesome is compounded by the fact that I have recently changed nap time to coincide with a new school schedule, as well as the fact that I got up early yesterday and led two services of worship music! Oddly or perhaps not, it's been since I bought my very first guitar, the only guitar not given to me or that I've not inherited but that I've actually purchased. My dream baby, my Lowden, aka Heath Rogers. And I've not just been playing the Lowden, I've been paying attention to some of the other guitars in the house, and have actually been playing them (or having my friends who can Actually play, play them) outside the house! It's been wild, and hopefully just the beginning. And just today, Emily switched quickly between 2 chords on the ukulele. She was pleasantly surprised. I was like, "See, practice DOES work!" Oh, to see the little neurons firing and connecting...
So, be it Botox, diet, or Lowden, I'll take it. However, my fingers are KILLING me like I don't ever remember them killing me before, not even when I first started learning to play the guitar. #outofpractice #needloweraction #comicaltowatch
But seriously, it's freaky to go two weeks feeling worse than you have in months, and then to go the next two weeks feeling better than you have in months before that. I don't know what that means. I do know that I'm having a good stretch, and that has been a rare thing. And now I have my dream guitar, which has somehow inspired me to do things I've never done with some of my existing instruments. Crazy? Maybe, but not nuts.
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