Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Help.

I need a work day, because this is bullshit.

Sasha had a mild skin reaction today, to either the juice or the cup from Starbucks.  They both have corn in them, and I've been preaching this to my Mom.  But we have "gotten away" with the corn that's in the organic juice from Starbucks, and with the corn that's in the corn-based wax in the processed-with-corn-paper cup, until today.  I have been preaching that Sasha is getting more sensitive to corn as evidence by her unreasonable bitchiness when she doesn't have a migraine, and/or by the fact that she's pretty much had a migraine every day for a few of months now.  When I don't keep her slathered in essential oils every minute of every day, she still scratches scabs into her back, every, single, day.  I'm not sure what other evidence I need to mount a full scale attack on corn, a THIRD round of Sasha's hair falling out?!?  SHE HAS A MIGRAINE EVERY DAY, SHE IS FIVE YEARS OLD, AND SHE GOT HIVES FROM A PAPER CUP WITH ORGANIC JUICE IN IT.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE NEED TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURE YESTERDAY!!!  Because the sauerkraut sitting on my counter won't be done for at least another week and a half, and it was made with organic cabbage. [read: probably still has corn in it.]

I am at a loss, defeated.  I need help.  I need people with energy and muscles to come help move the crap from the patio into the office (or the goodwill, or the dump), and move a freezer from my friend's apartment, down some stairs, and into my patio.  That will at least give me a place to put safe food once I have found it.

I need this to happen as soon as possible.  As per normal moving protocol, I will totally buy you pizza, but as pizza is covered in cornmeal on the bottom, you have to eat it outside, or clean up after yourselves completely as I will no doubt, be too tired to do so.  Sadly, I am not joking.

Thanks in advance.  Also I love you.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Nickelbrain

There isn't much research into exactly how much nickel should be in a human brain.  But I do like numbers, so let's start there anyway.  12 days into July, I've only taken migraine rescue meds for 6 of those, one off and one on except for yesterday and the day before which was two in a row.  I shall expect to go two in a row sans meds to make up for it, except that I'm sauerkrauting tomorrow, shoot....  Anyway, I found out there was officially such a thing as a "low nickel diet" on July 3 and I've gotta tell you, I've been pooping awesome for at least the past 4-5 days!  This is a bit surprising to me since I've upped my milk intake considerably (from none to lots) and downed my leafy greens (from lots to none).  But as I have known more than most people ever want to hear about, you can't argue with food allergies.

Technically nickel allergy isn't a food allergy 'though, it's a complicated immune response, T-cells, yadda yadda, something or other.  And I'm still figuring out all the "safe" foods for me.  I don't think the pizza was probably a good idea, but after dealing with two days of migraine, and Mom going bonkers weeding things out on the patio, I was exhausted and hungry, and there was no rotisserie chicken in the house.  Of course now that I'm thinking clearly, I probably could have paid someone to just pick me up a rotisserie chicken and saved 20 bucks and some itching, but that's the nature of the disease. *texting mom that we need to buy a rotisserie chicken*  And here's the exciting part: I actually feel better.

Cruciferous veggies are on the lower end of things that absorb nickel, although there is quite a bit of variance according to what list you read.  So even with half my days being rescue med days, they are still more functional days than lately, when I've felt mainly useless.  Is there such a things as controlled psychotic urgency?  We have to make enough progress on the house to get a freezer in here.  I have to get better in order to source safe meat, fruits, and veggies.  I have to have energy to process said produce.  (by safe I mean corn-free)  ((by safe I also mean low-nickel))  (((by safe I also also mean not processed near nuts)))  Obviously the girls can stuff themselves with nickel except that I don't want them to develop an allergy and never eat chocolate again OMG.

Ok but back to Nickelbrain and why I have chronic daily migraine, ya.  I just have this theory, this fantasy, this pipe dream that maybe reducing how much nickel I eat will contribute to less frequent and severe migraine.  It has already led to better...water closet visitations.  And less itching when I don't eat pizza, banana, (which is low nickel but can aggravate an allergy WHY?!?) or those wonderful grass fed beef jerky sticks. (probably bc of the celery juice?)  I have a lot of trialing to do and a LOT of food to make.  Mom has already made me pumpkin cookies and pancakes without full-of-nickel baking soda or  powder.  Sauerkraut seems easy and is really yummy the way my aunt makes it. [read:bonus happy guts]

Oh, but why should less Nickelbrain equal fewer migraine days?  Well, I went on this raw food kick for about 3 weeks a few years ago.  I was eating maybe 70% raw, lots of veggies and fruits, tons of stuff from list I now avoid.  I actually felt really good, and had a lot of energy.  It was the best I had felt since high school!  But when the hormonal migraine hit, it didn't go away for a month, and that was the last time I went near that eating plan.  I talked to my neurologist about it and asked her if in feeling well and being active I had maybe worked some unknown substances into my brain, so that when the migraine Did come, my body way overreacted?  She looked at me calmly and said, "Of course."  And then when I asked if I should strap myself to a chair when I felt good she said,  "Life is a marathon..."  She was not joking!  Perhaps I came closer to the truth than I knew, and those "substances" I was shoving into my brain was just nickel.  Too dang much Ni28.

You know I never did try chocolate covered bacon.  But I don't even care, not even a little bit.  The thought of chocolate makes me itchy and slightly nauseated.  I think I will go have bacon with a side of fewer migraines please.  Oooooh, and Star Trek for dessert...

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Small parts Satan

Do you know how much is awesome about this?!
1.  It's extremely validating
2.  We have ANWERS!!!
3.  Most importantly and helpful, we have a plan. A plan!  A PLAN!!!

Interestingly, we now have 4 sets of migraine, and 3 sets of opposing food allergies in-house.  3 of us are rocking migraine today, although mine is just the normal amount, and I am not on rescue meds so far, Hallelujah. But I feel so validated in finding out that chocolate indeed, has about the highest nickel content that a food can have on this green earth, hence why I can't eat it anymore without itching.  Milk has a low nickel content, which is why it doesn't bother me, and why for the love of God, I am never cutting out of my diet again. *deep sigh of relief*  I feel so incredibly validated because for the times I've cut it out and it has had no effect on migraine whatsoever except maybe an increase, now I effing know why.  Which brings me to answers.

Nickel (Ni) has an atomic number 28 and is in all food everywhere, because you, me, the earth, and everything upon it is made of stuff containing in small part, nickel.  Interestingly, Nickel comes from a German word for Satan.  I am not making this up. And certain foods regardless of where or when they are grown, just suck up more nickel than others.  This is not typically a problem is you're not allergic to nickel.  This is not typically a problem is you ARE allergic to nickel.  Enter #casaespinoza.  You know, my Dad was allergic to nickel, and he loved chocolate, especially dark chocolate, which of course is the worst of the worst food you could possibly eat if you are trying to avoid nickel in your life.  But he got all his amalgam fillings replaced, and was able to wear certain jewelry again after 20 years.  Oh and still eat chocolate.  I am so allergic to nickel that it seriously contributed to my C-sections.  (anyone remember those huge, oozy welts and the full body rash I got when trying to have Emily, due to the nickel snaps in the hospital gown that somehow everyone missed despite my bright red bracelet proclaiming NICKEL ALLERGY? *shudder*)  Ya, it turns out that pregnancy makes you more prone to absorbing the ever-present nickel in our effing earth.  Which brings me to a plan.

Ok which almost brings me to a plan.  I'm still scarred from the horrid reaction I had the snap in the robe.  Oh man...I didn't even want pictures taken, because I didn't want to ever remember.  Oh God...

So once you've developed a nickel allergy, you have it forever.  [read: happiness gone] But there are several things you can do TO GET RID OF THE F***ING PERSISTENT ITCHING. I'm still researching the hell out of this as per protocol, but it looks initially like adopting a low-nickel diet for starters will help, because I was not eating weirdly enough, apparently.  Also I guess taking vitamin C with every meal will help you NOT absorb the remaining nickel in the food.  And there are some promising studies regarding zinc sulfate and nickel sulfate as far as decreasing sensitivity, and even some regarding getting what nickel there is already present in your body, out of your body.

Not that I ever expect to eat Chocolate, Grains (except rice), Leafy Greens, Canned Food, Dried Fruit, or Beans ever again.  But having a reasonably severe nickel allergy Can I guess be related to fatigue and headache.  Can I get a WTF are you kidding me, why has no medical professional ever told me any of this?!  I already haven't worn jewelry in years, I have to wear gloves to do any sewing, I use bamboo knitting needles, and I have to buy the expensive coated guitar strings!  Also, I had a big amalgam filling replaced to try to get the shit out of my existence when I couldn't use silverware anymore and it did help but seriously, I guess it was just the tip of the iceberg.  And of course, I have the corn-allergy FB group to thank. (:  Someone on there was talking about something else entirely and mentioned they they couldn't eat legumes due to their nickel allergy.  Thus these revelations began...

You know, grad school is hard.  [read:I graduated, but am clearly still learning things out the wazoo, and regularly teaching medical professionals] But if I can get better, if my family can get better, and if I can help anyone else suffering needlessly under modern medicine's lackluster regime, I will feel less depressed and suicidal.  In fact I already feel better drinking my organic, full-fat milk, banana, blueberry smoothie.

Next up, talking to two neurologists on Monday, and making sauerkraunevermind, cabbage is a leafy green.  But Sasha could use it for her gut health.  So yes to making sauerkraut.  Damn.  We can...all eat...grass-fed beef...and safe fruit.  The less satan the better.  The less satan the better.  You know, nuts have a lot of satan in them.  Sometimes I wish I could feed nuts to Sasha.  But the less satan the better...


http://periodic.lanl.gov/28.shtml  <-----some stuff about satan's copper aka: nickel

Thursday, July 3, 2014

This Is Why I Swear, Mom...

Because there is no "appropriate", calm way to say that I want to blow my fucking head off.  You know, the lucky ones, the ones with means and at the very least somewhat supportive families and internet access, we join corn-allergy facebook groups.  And let me tell you, those places are better than churches my friends, more loving and forgiving than the body of Christ.  There is no judgement, only support no matter how crazy the question or how many times it has been asked.  Of course, it's not a church anyone would join on purpose, and we're all desperate, frustrated as hell, completely overwhelmed and usually battling multiple food allergies if not more. (raises hand)  But otherwise complete strangers will totally send you a food sample to trial so you don't have to buy a whole case of something from who knows what other country.  And instead of one person doing every goddamn bit of research, we can share all the disappointing emails from all the companies to confirm that yes is Does contain corn, or no, they have no idea what they are talking about.  *sigh* Ah, the camaraderie.

Needless to say, I'm not the only one who swears on the corn-allergy fb group.  Neither am I the only Christian.  People often offer to pray for one another.  Geeze, we go through life online together!  A lady announced that she was on her way to the hospital to have a baby, which was a HUGE deal since dextrose and glucose are corn derivatives and they drip those straight into your veins!  (Saline only please)  Hospital/ER protocol is a mess and don't even bother having a bracelet which says "Corn Allergy" because no one knows what that means except to take the corn off the plate of hospital food.  You have to say other things to make them believe you such as "Multiple Allergies To Additives" just for starters.  Thankfully the lady was well prepared and made it out just fine.  Whew!

One lady was flipping out the other day because she almost couldn't get enough strawberries for the year from a safe place.  As in, a lot of people are so sensitive to corn derivatives in pesticides, that if they don't source, hand-pick, and then store enough of their own safe produce while it's in season, they will literally go hungry in the winter.  And fyi, most places aren't safe, even organic places bc organic places still often use grain-based vinegars as organic pesticides. (holyshitholyshitholyshit)  Sasha's not that sensitive.  Well, lemme re-phrase.  Sasha went 6 whole days without getting a migraine on her new preventative med, and then she got a migraine.  And when she didn't have a migraine, she was just an awful human being, very similar to how she was before I figured out she was "sensitive" to corn. (coughing) So...

Oh, and I went one whole day in July without getting a migraine.  Well, I might not have to take meds today, but the night is young, so who knows?  If I could just talk to my mom without her shutting down, that might be helpful, but she's a massive introvert. A beautiful, perfect, wonderful, way-more-than-helpful massive introvert.  And we have a patio full of...stuff, and no room for a freezer, which we desperately need for grass-fed only beef (not washed in corn, not butchered on equipment washed in corn), and this elusive safe produce that I haven't even had mental, emotional, and sure as fucking hell no physical energy to even source yet.

So to re-cap:
-Sasha is either bat-shit crazy or migrainey and sometimes both, although it looks like we are on the right track. We may just need to up her meds.  That process may just take another month.  O.M.G....
-I still get about 18 migraine days a month so far, that's on my first round of Botox.  Second round should see improvement. So like, assuming Sasha REALLY gets better and the start of school doesn't finish me, [AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA*gasp* New class Em, new pricipal, Sasha vs. Kindergarden  OMGSUUUUUUCK] I might be rocking by maybe mid-September? F***. ****. ****.
-(i will not have a panic attack thinking about school.  i will not have a panic attack thinking about school.  i hate our superintendent.  i hate corn.  i hate the government subsidization of frankenwheat and corn.  i hate the two party system and all politics in general.  *gasp* **gasp**  ***gasp***)
-I, really...

This Is Why I Swear, Mom.