How the Millenium Falcon Saved Us

Sasha hasn't tried to scratch her skin off in a while so, she was probably due.  Problem with this time is, we don't know what caused it.  She doesn't have any outdoor allergies, just food "sensitivities" (read: makes her hair fall out etc.) so when she came in from the playground with a good itchy face rash going last week, her teachers were concerned. (read: a little freaked out) They called me asking for her allergy medicine, except that she doesn't have any because all medicine has corn in it at least twice. Cue second Doctor appointment to try to solve this problem.   Cue ping-ponging between the Pharmacy and the Doctor's office and having to threaten to fire the Doctor just to get corn-free meds for Sasha.  I love our Pharmacist 'though.  It's probably helpful that our Pharmacists are our cousin's neighbors.

The phrase "just to get corn-free meds" is a little misleading.  There's no "just to get corn-free" anything in this country.  I need to learn to shake it off better, or maybe just roll with it, the fight to get corn-free anything.  At least when I marched into that Doctor's office today I had cooled off from Friday, when I had to explain our entire family history, what happens to Sasha when she gets corn, and about 6 times each that no, I don't want a liquid antihistamine or acetaminophen because it will have corn in it and no, I don't want a pill because it will have corn in it and yes, I will go online and purchase pharmaceutical equipment if I have to and measure half-capsules worth of drugs and package them myself even though I know it sounds crazy because I'm a food-allergy mom and we're all bat-crap crazy and will you just call the effing pharmacy like the Pharmacist who showed me the jars of what he's going to use asked me to ask you to do and no, I don't want to go to a different effing pharmacy, what is your problem!!!!!  And in the end, she didn't call the pharmacy, her sorry ass "prescription" didn't go through (for the second time from that office)  and I had to get notes from my cousin's neighbor (the Pharmacist) take them back to the Doctor's office, and threaten to fire her and go to a new office entirely when suddenly T-minus one hour later...I get a phone call from the Doctor saying that I finally win.  But of course she didn't use those words.  *sigh*  I may fire her anyway.

My cousins's neighbor explained that it's hard for Doctors get prescriptions right electronically when they have to think outside the box.  I believe it.  Even he had funny looks on his face when I explained what happens to Sasha when she gets corn, and how I have to call companies to ask about the sources of their ingredients, and also when I showed him the list of corn derivatives from one of the corn allergen websites.  I just wish there was a badge I could flash at stupid Doctors, a certification of some kind for "Bat Crap Crazy Food Allergy Mom: Knows Her Shit".  If it's never Not going to be a battle, I may as well have a cool badge or something, geeze.  I even impressed myself by whipping out the source of the filler my cousin's neighbor was going to use in the capsules, were we ever to get a proper prescription!

I guess it didn't feel good when the Doctor said that what I was asking sounded crazy.  It also didn't feel good when the day of the appointment, the office called and said that her primary care physician retired and insurance wouldn't cover the appointment until I called and changed her primary, information it would have been nice to have before before the DAY OF THE APPOINTMENT.  Supposedly I was successful in the following trail of phone calls it took to make that happen, I pity the fool who wants to fight me on that one.  Not 5 minutes after dealing with that mess I had to walk out of the house to Sasha's last-day-of-school festivities, nearly in tears but for the giant lego starship my Mom just bought me.

I realize I'm not a 10-year-old boy.  But I do live with my Mom, and that has to count for something.  I pay rent, and do dishes and laundry so, whatever.  Mom must've seen my countenance lift when I saw the giant box way up high, and for whatever reason decided to talk the guy in the toy store down in price and with her teacher discount, paid less than you can get that thing anywhere, promise.  Oh wait, I totally pointed it out, that's right.  Anyway, yesterday with my other single mom friend and her three boys and my two girls we had the most epic Star Wars lego day ever, complete with light saber fights.  Fake light sabers of course.  But as I can't have a chocolate croissant or any much other comfort food because I'm defective and don't really love ice cream, just thinking about putting the Millenium Falcon together really did a lot lift my spirits.  And thinking about how my mom friend and I geeked out over it while the kids were outside...oh my gosh, that was the best.  And I still have to finish putting it together!

Incidentally, I'm also playing a lot of music the next couple of weeks, singing and playing both guitar and piano, which is something I haven't done in I'm not entirely sure how long, but probably years.  It will be good to throw myself into that, as long as my body holds up.  Nerdfest, musicfest, that should help with the stresses of the ignorance of the medical world vs. Food-Allergy-Mom-Who-Can't-Have-Wheat-Or-Chocolate.  At least I can sing and put together the Millenium Falcon that my mom bought me.  My other single mom nerd friend just texted me to ask if I had worked on the ship today.  Omg, life is so good...

Fail Mix*

What like, 90% nuts?

Livid.

Can I get a witness from all the death by food-allergy moms out there?  That once you go through the range of emotions from shock and fear and disbelief,  livid is what you are left with when you find out that the teacher who's had your kid for two years in class actually handed out nuts to everyone for snack?  Never mind that there's a lot going on because it's the end of the year, or that she's a new mom.  I don't know how to stress the importance of Emily not dying in school, or even the importance of Emily not needing to be stabbed through her jeans with a giant needle and sent to the hospital.  That's unprofessional just for starters.

But seriously, what the hell?  If nothing else it helped us establish a new rule.  If Emily is ever in a classroom where nuts are handed out to everyone again, she is to run to the office without stopping and refuse to return until everyone washes their hands and the desks are wiped down.  It's not a nut free school, it's not a nut free world!  But in the cafeteria she sits at the "No Nuts" table by choice.  I wouldn't mind if she just made sure not to sit next to people eating PB&Js.  However, surrounded in the classroom, there is no escape!  At Whole Foods if we spend too much time in the bulk bin aisle her eyes start to get red and irritated, and the last time she got a gob of peanut butter on her skin she got hives all the way around it.  People die every year from nut allergies and it's usually from being careless.  It's usually completely preventable.  One of my goals in life is to make absolutely sure that we don't end up in the news as one of those.  I guess that's why some people think we're crazy, why we're labeled as "those parents": Food allergy parents, obsessive, forced into the outer rim of social eating, prone to shaking and tears when the kids react and when they have near misses and don't react because you remember all too clearly when they did.

My least favorite part of this whole situation is that some coward parent talked to the the teacher instead of me after I emailed a gentle reminder to all the parents to not send nuts or nut products to school for snack, (old class policy) and also asked for a heads up when parents send surprise birthday treats for their kids who are apparently more special than the rest of ours.  (I didn't phrase it like that of course.)  We celebrate class birthdays once a month and I always send Emily her own treats so she's not left out.  But some jerk parent always shows up on unapproved days with cupcakes processed near nuts and Emily is always left out and we deal, but it would be nice to know, you know?  This is first grade and they're 6 and it would be nice to hold on to some of the wonder of childhood.  But whatever, now the teacher is miffed because I said ANYTHING in defense of my daughter and she got talked to by some coward parent, God forbid.  It would have been fab if she had not handed out death allergens, is all I'm saying.

Ugh, breathe right?  Thank God Emily didn't have a reaction.  Thank God we have a plan for next time, and there will be a next time.  Thank God I will learn to get a tougher skin and wear my crazy-nut-allergy-parent hat, because this is the world we live in.  It's probably better than the crazy-cat-lady-house-coat anyway...

#sashilyskitchen
#crazynotnuts
#mymarshmallowskickass

*Title by my Mom

Gourmallows

So they're not completely organic.  Although you can get organic gelatin I've yet to order it, and the sprinkles aren't organic.  Haven't figured that one out yet. (haven't really thought about it)  But every thing else is: Sugar, Powdered Sugar, Maple Syrup, Chocolate, Coconut oil, and beside Gelatin the only other ingredient is Sea Salt, which is not classified as organic vs inorganic in this country.

But first things first; Since these are mostly sugar, what kind of sugar you use is of utmost importance.  Conventional white granulated sugar is pesticidal, and way processed.  Corn syrup is the same, plus it drives Sasha batty, makes her scratch her skin off and her hair fall out.  What I've been using is an organic, certified zero carbon, grown-in-America and lesser processed sugar.  I stock up when it's on sale, and you can way taste the difference.  Mmmm.  I vote you try different sugar options, and let me know how they turn out. (:

The recipe I started out with is from this website.   http://www.food.com/recipe/homemade-marshmallows-no-corn-syrup-384069   But then I had to do stuff to it.  For instance, instead of using vanilla extract which has corn in it, I use organic maple syrup which just has tree sap in it, and maybe really really boiled bug parts or something.  Ok, and when the recipe says to dust the pan with powdered sugar, first I have to make powdered sugar in my blender out of the regular organic sugar I'm using.  (because store-bought powdered sugar has, say it with me, corn in it) Then I smear organic coconut oil in the 10X10 pan I use, but as thinly as possible.  Then I put a bunch of powdered sugar in the pan, or toasted shredded coconut if I'm using that, or both.  Because otherwise the mallows have no interest in coming out of the pan once cooled.  

     These marshmallows are for the birthday celebration for all the kids who have summer birthdays in Emily's class.  Since Em can have chocolate and not everyone probably likes carob, I decided to make not everyone hate me and go ahead and dip them in chocolate, which was harder than you might think because these marshmallows are softer and melty-er than the conventional crap that comes in a bag and has corn 4 ways.  So first I stuck the cooled, extracted, chopped up, and coated with more powdered sugar marshmallows in the freezer.  Then I made a double boiler by putting a medium mixing bowl inside a pot of boiling water, maybe a little less than half full of water.  Inside this double boiler I added some organic coconut oil to organic corn-free chocolate chips.  The whole foods brand happens to be corn-free, and I read somewhere that the ratio of chips to oil should be 4 to 1.  I just eyeballed it.  (Again, you can taste the difference between organic chocolate vs inorganic.) A little stir with my trusty spatula put me in business!  The business was tricky 'though, since some of the corners did want to melt occasionally.  Some marshmallow dipping websites and images said to use a fork or toothpick for dipping, but I just used my hands, and kind of flung the excess chocolate off into the bowl quickly.  Then I had two landing pads coated with wax paper that I was rotating in and out of the freezer to keep them cool.  That worked pretty well except that it made the chocolate too firm as in, did not promote the sprinkles to stick.  However that was easily solved at the end of the whole process with a paintbrush and the leftover melted chocolate.  (If you sprinkle too soon, they just disappear into the warm chocolate.)

 The dumb part in all this is that chocolate, like wheat, makes my neck itch.  I know right?!  Stupidville.  So I won't really be enjoying these.  And caffeine triggers migraines for me so I won't be making caffeinated chocolate-dipped, coffee-flavored marshmallows either but how good does that sound?!??  Ughghgh...I guess I'm a little bit excited about the blueberry option I'm pretty sure I can pull off, or even another batch of my decaf coffee-coconut marshmallows which have been my favorite so far, or even some honey lemon now that I think about it.  I never thought I'd be making organic homemade, hand dipped marshmallows.  It's probably time to order organic gelatin, or maybe experiment with chia seeds and go straight vegan!  Funny the places life takes you.  #sashilyskitchen

Here's the Marshmallow recipe with my tweaks:

2 tablespoons gelatin (2 envelopes Knox)
8 tablespoons cold water
2 cups organic sugar
1/2 cup  water
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 teaspoons maple syrup
Directions:
1 Oil and Dust an 9 or 10 inch square pan with powdered sugar and/or coconut. Set aside.
2 In a small bowl, soak gelatin in 8 tbsp cold water. Set aside.
3 Combine sugar and 1/2 cup of water in a large heavy saucepan.
4 Cook and stir over medium heat until dissolved.
5 Add gelatin, maple syrup and bring to a boil.
6 Remove from heat. Pour into a large mixing bowl and let stand until partially cool.
7 Add salt
8 Beat with an electric mixer until soft and double in volume. About 10-15 minutes.
9 Pour into prepared pan
10 Let cool, good luck extracting, chop up and coat with more powdered sugar etc.