How the Millenium Falcon Saved Us

Sasha hasn't tried to scratch her skin off in a while so, she was probably due.  Problem with this time is, we don't know what caused it.  She doesn't have any outdoor allergies, just food "sensitivities" (read: makes her hair fall out etc.) so when she came in from the playground with a good itchy face rash going last week, her teachers were concerned. (read: a little freaked out) They called me asking for her allergy medicine, except that she doesn't have any because all medicine has corn in it at least twice. Cue second Doctor appointment to try to solve this problem.   Cue ping-ponging between the Pharmacy and the Doctor's office and having to threaten to fire the Doctor just to get corn-free meds for Sasha.  I love our Pharmacist 'though.  It's probably helpful that our Pharmacists are our cousin's neighbors.

The phrase "just to get corn-free meds" is a little misleading.  There's no "just to get corn-free" anything in this country.  I need to learn to shake it off better, or maybe just roll with it, the fight to get corn-free anything.  At least when I marched into that Doctor's office today I had cooled off from Friday, when I had to explain our entire family history, what happens to Sasha when she gets corn, and about 6 times each that no, I don't want a liquid antihistamine or acetaminophen because it will have corn in it and no, I don't want a pill because it will have corn in it and yes, I will go online and purchase pharmaceutical equipment if I have to and measure half-capsules worth of drugs and package them myself even though I know it sounds crazy because I'm a food-allergy mom and we're all bat-crap crazy and will you just call the effing pharmacy like the Pharmacist who showed me the jars of what he's going to use asked me to ask you to do and no, I don't want to go to a different effing pharmacy, what is your problem!!!!!  And in the end, she didn't call the pharmacy, her sorry ass "prescription" didn't go through (for the second time from that office)  and I had to get notes from my cousin's neighbor (the Pharmacist) take them back to the Doctor's office, and threaten to fire her and go to a new office entirely when suddenly T-minus one hour later...I get a phone call from the Doctor saying that I finally win.  But of course she didn't use those words.  *sigh*  I may fire her anyway.

My cousins's neighbor explained that it's hard for Doctors get prescriptions right electronically when they have to think outside the box.  I believe it.  Even he had funny looks on his face when I explained what happens to Sasha when she gets corn, and how I have to call companies to ask about the sources of their ingredients, and also when I showed him the list of corn derivatives from one of the corn allergen websites.  I just wish there was a badge I could flash at stupid Doctors, a certification of some kind for "Bat Crap Crazy Food Allergy Mom: Knows Her Shit".  If it's never Not going to be a battle, I may as well have a cool badge or something, geeze.  I even impressed myself by whipping out the source of the filler my cousin's neighbor was going to use in the capsules, were we ever to get a proper prescription!

I guess it didn't feel good when the Doctor said that what I was asking sounded crazy.  It also didn't feel good when the day of the appointment, the office called and said that her primary care physician retired and insurance wouldn't cover the appointment until I called and changed her primary, information it would have been nice to have before before the DAY OF THE APPOINTMENT.  Supposedly I was successful in the following trail of phone calls it took to make that happen, I pity the fool who wants to fight me on that one.  Not 5 minutes after dealing with that mess I had to walk out of the house to Sasha's last-day-of-school festivities, nearly in tears but for the giant lego starship my Mom just bought me.

I realize I'm not a 10-year-old boy.  But I do live with my Mom, and that has to count for something.  I pay rent, and do dishes and laundry so, whatever.  Mom must've seen my countenance lift when I saw the giant box way up high, and for whatever reason decided to talk the guy in the toy store down in price and with her teacher discount, paid less than you can get that thing anywhere, promise.  Oh wait, I totally pointed it out, that's right.  Anyway, yesterday with my other single mom friend and her three boys and my two girls we had the most epic Star Wars lego day ever, complete with light saber fights.  Fake light sabers of course.  But as I can't have a chocolate croissant or any much other comfort food because I'm defective and don't really love ice cream, just thinking about putting the Millenium Falcon together really did a lot lift my spirits.  And thinking about how my mom friend and I geeked out over it while the kids were outside...oh my gosh, that was the best.  And I still have to finish putting it together!

Incidentally, I'm also playing a lot of music the next couple of weeks, singing and playing both guitar and piano, which is something I haven't done in I'm not entirely sure how long, but probably years.  It will be good to throw myself into that, as long as my body holds up.  Nerdfest, musicfest, that should help with the stresses of the ignorance of the medical world vs. Food-Allergy-Mom-Who-Can't-Have-Wheat-Or-Chocolate.  At least I can sing and put together the Millenium Falcon that my mom bought me.  My other single mom nerd friend just texted me to ask if I had worked on the ship today.  Omg, life is so good...