This Is Why I Swear, Mom...

Because there is no "appropriate", calm way to say that I want to blow my fucking head off.  You know, the lucky ones, the ones with means and at the very least somewhat supportive families and internet access, we join corn-allergy facebook groups.  And let me tell you, those places are better than churches my friends, more loving and forgiving than the body of Christ.  There is no judgement, only support no matter how crazy the question or how many times it has been asked.  Of course, it's not a church anyone would join on purpose, and we're all desperate, frustrated as hell, completely overwhelmed and usually battling multiple food allergies if not more. (raises hand)  But otherwise complete strangers will totally send you a food sample to trial so you don't have to buy a whole case of something from who knows what other country.  And instead of one person doing every goddamn bit of research, we can share all the disappointing emails from all the companies to confirm that yes is Does contain corn, or no, they have no idea what they are talking about.  *sigh* Ah, the camaraderie.

Needless to say, I'm not the only one who swears on the corn-allergy fb group.  Neither am I the only Christian.  People often offer to pray for one another.  Geeze, we go through life online together!  A lady announced that she was on her way to the hospital to have a baby, which was a HUGE deal since dextrose and glucose are corn derivatives and they drip those straight into your veins!  (Saline only please)  Hospital/ER protocol is a mess and don't even bother having a bracelet which says "Corn Allergy" because no one knows what that means except to take the corn off the plate of hospital food.  You have to say other things to make them believe you such as "Multiple Allergies To Additives" just for starters.  Thankfully the lady was well prepared and made it out just fine.  Whew!

One lady was flipping out the other day because she almost couldn't get enough strawberries for the year from a safe place.  As in, a lot of people are so sensitive to corn derivatives in pesticides, that if they don't source, hand-pick, and then store enough of their own safe produce while it's in season, they will literally go hungry in the winter.  And fyi, most places aren't safe, even organic places bc organic places still often use grain-based vinegars as organic pesticides. (holyshitholyshitholyshit)  Sasha's not that sensitive.  Well, lemme re-phrase.  Sasha went 6 whole days without getting a migraine on her new preventative med, and then she got a migraine.  And when she didn't have a migraine, she was just an awful human being, very similar to how she was before I figured out she was "sensitive" to corn. (coughing) So...

Oh, and I went one whole day in July without getting a migraine.  Well, I might not have to take meds today, but the night is young, so who knows?  If I could just talk to my mom without her shutting down, that might be helpful, but she's a massive introvert. A beautiful, perfect, wonderful, way-more-than-helpful massive introvert.  And we have a patio full of...stuff, and no room for a freezer, which we desperately need for grass-fed only beef (not washed in corn, not butchered on equipment washed in corn), and this elusive safe produce that I haven't even had mental, emotional, and sure as fucking hell no physical energy to even source yet.

So to re-cap:
-Sasha is either bat-shit crazy or migrainey and sometimes both, although it looks like we are on the right track. We may just need to up her meds.  That process may just take another month.  O.M.G....
-I still get about 18 migraine days a month so far, that's on my first round of Botox.  Second round should see improvement. So like, assuming Sasha REALLY gets better and the start of school doesn't finish me, [AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA*gasp* New class Em, new pricipal, Sasha vs. Kindergarden  OMGSUUUUUUCK] I might be rocking by maybe mid-September? F***. ****. ****.
-(i will not have a panic attack thinking about school.  i will not have a panic attack thinking about school.  i hate our superintendent.  i hate corn.  i hate the government subsidization of frankenwheat and corn.  i hate the two party system and all politics in general.  *gasp* **gasp**  ***gasp***)
-I, really...

This Is Why I Swear, Mom.