I'm just angry. And suicidal. Not probably REALLY suicidal, but probably still mildly depressed, although not nearly so bad as a couple of months ago. Huzzah!? As my mother observes in her prayers, at least we're not bedside in a pediatric cancer ward. So...
Most excellently, Sasha hasn't had a migraine in going on 3 days. This is good news. This is Good news. This is very good news although the little turd has regained excellent turd form, and is being a total *****. (sorry baby) I love her. I totally went two days in a row sans rescue meds until Sasha went two days in a row sans migraine. It's a great problem to have because there's a solution, there are steps to take more or less. I can handle Sasha from a parenting standpoint, and I can manage migraine, although that is always tricky.
Heh, "I can manage migraine" right now means chasing my evening pot chocolate with Benadryl, since Chocolate makes me itch. It's the best way I can get long-acting, high-cbd mmj into my system which allows me to not awaken at say, 2-3AM with a screaming, burning, squeezing, or pounding migraine. But at least there is a plan. And I expect that Sasher's brains are just re-congealing, after being straight up applesauce for a while. Both of those feeling suck major butt. It's infuriating, to feel the fog clearing, but to not be clear of it just yet; To know that something major has just been wrong, not understand it at all, and not quite be free from it. We have so many major hurdles to go but it "should" be so simple: She quits getting migraines, eats a good diet, and will be all better in a few days. Oh if only.
Oh to be normal, and live in a lovely American construct, where the head of the FDA ISN'T the former CEO of Monsanto, a chemical company that makes all the food and worse, the food decisions. The mockery, the insult of it all! And 'though the Sasha crazies aren't as bad as if she had been full-blown Corned, there is still a suspect leftover breakout by her mouth from an elusive SOMETHING. Also, she reacted to some plant outside today that will hopefully only be a brief skin reaction. But the problem is the multi-facetedness of it all, and the fact that I can't be tabbed to think amazingly brilliantly for long periods of time. Damn it all. This is why it would be just so much easier to drive off a cliff. [insert MacGruber explosion]
I CAN be tabbed to shave my head. I love my short hair but it grows too damn fast. And I have to put my brain tiara on all the time, which make my short hair look funny, which pisses off my vanity. (And long hair it just too heavy and too much hassle right now.) So maybe to mortify my vanity I should keep my shaggy, funny looking hair. But if I shave it, it will just grow out quickly and then I can just shave it again. Something to look forward to until I don't have to wear the brain tiara all the time just to function. Then I can grow my hair out. Maybe then I can [insert whatever "normal" activity I should be doing, here. Like plucking my eyebrows.] I totally plucked my eyebrows and had long hair before December. Whatevs yo, change and let go. Aw man, now I'll need a Vote for Pedro shirt, and I'll just tell people I was too hot. Or maybe that I'm too sexy for my hair...
Ugh, but it will suck to clean up. Oooh! Pay the kids. Perfect. Ok stop itching nowreadygo. Ready goNOW.
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