Full Body Dread and Sacred Pain

 I've written before about how we don't have enough words to describe exhaustion, and the same is true about pain.  I'd love to research how names for word colors evolved in various languages around the world, and there are some cool videos I've seen on it, but I can't remember them right now because of the pain that makes me wonder about it.  I can only guess there aren't enough words to describe pain because we don't want to see it, and god forbid if we do see it, we sure as hell don't want to remember it.  But clinically, it would be helpful to have more ways to describe pain to my family at least.  

They know I deal with pain all the time.  The kids and I deal with pain all the time, all day every day.  But it's not an "it", not a singular thing we share.  Our pains are different from each other and different to even our own.  Today I was bedridden by stomach pain of all things, not head pain.  The other day it was a neurological ear pain and that would take another while to explain, unless you dear reader have ever had it yourself or feel like googling it.  

And what the heck is even the word for pain that doesn't hurt per se, but accompanies the squeezing sensation, that which is the full body dread?  Not all pain is like that or has that, and it's not something anyone has ever asked me about BUT IT SHOULD COUNT FOR SOMETHING.  I pushed through migraine pain for years, probably a full decade once I was chronic.  And then today, the "painless" full body dread that accompanied the stomach pain of what I assume was abdominal migraine made moving from bed a dealbreaker until 4:30 this afternoon.  Thing Two is on meds and in the tub because her head hurts and also "feels like throwing up".  Her head feels like throwing up, like her brains.  *points to cabesa, los sesos*

I guess ideally we wouldn't need so many expressive words for pain, but it would be nice to have our existence validated.  By the way, fuck the song Silent Night.  Silent, calm, and sleeping in heavenly peace are bullshit erasure of the holy childbirth experience which are NONE of those things.  It's pain and blood and shaking and a life and death struggle that not everyone survives.  Looking away from pain serves no one.  Managing pain in healthy ways should be sacred.