Holy shit, I started this blog eight years ago! And I quit a year and eight months ago, but it seems like longer than that, with the state of things. What an absolute tornado of clusterfucks everything has been. It's a damn good thing I quit when I did, there is no way I could have kept up through:
The worst chronic fatigue flare I've ever had beginning in September 2019
The worst round of migraines plus chronic fatigue I've ever had in August/September 2020
Plague obviously
California fire season 2020 (SoCal is still on fire)
Both kids having more diagnoses, although hey hey, Thing One can eat wheat and corn now.
But probably best of all beside the fact that we still kick ass, is the fact that I have managed to wrestle control of the sperm donor's finances away from him. Therefore he cannot gamble it all away and I have income once again. Oh, but I have been on my period for two entire years now. Follow up with the PCP is next month.
This word vomit blog has remained helpful as a resource to look back on, and unfortunately it may need to keep functioning that way. For example, two days ago I had a distressing new symptom and I don't even know if it's migraine or ME/CFS related, but it's terrible ear pain. It kept me in bed for most of the day and it's still coming back to occasionally stab me. I've had migrainous ear related pain before, but not like this. Thankfully just my left ear. Also sometimes my left ovary tries to squeeze me to death, so that whole left side seems to be defective.
Oh but there is more good news. My new music crush is a "Snarky Aussie Dude" named Emerson Brophy whose music includes but is not limited to U.S. political activism and the annoyance of musical theater nerds. His music resonates in such a way that it measurably pulled me out of the despicable Aug/Sept 2020 flare. I had 17 and 19 migraine rescue med days in Aug/Sept, and only 11 and 10 in Oct/Nov. I mean, usually if I have a good month, I'll rebound but instead my numbers went even lower. I was able to remember I was a musician and not be bitter, listen to other music and not get overwhelmed, and even start learning a new instrument although it's still mostly too exhausting to play since most of my energy goes to managing the rest of our drama. So that has been an actual miracle.
Next up, Thing Two needs a miracle. We retrialed her old migraine preventative that she lost in February due to plague, and it seems to cause migraine. She's back off it but it took a good couple weeks to get back to migraine base line. And then she's several weeks overdue for a trigger point injection because we thought we might have been exposed to plague so we had to cancel and reschedule. (Turns out we weren't but we are DECENT FUCKING CITIZENS) So she is just in manage mode, much to the consternation of the State Of California who would prefer she be in Math Intervention mode. When I told her homeschool teacher to just go ahead and withdrawal her from school, they backed off. I actually said I was about six seconds away from withdrawing both kids who technically need math interventions, but we have other shit to work on. And I love math!!!
Well. I will go read and think about spacetime and hope it somehow oozes into the kids' brains, listen to Emerson Brophy's new Christmas Song (it's friggin hilarous!) and think about strategies to get through the next few days, and the few days after that. Welcome back into my world all five of you. You've been warned.
ps. Fuck trump and everyone who voted for him, and every piece of shit human who won't wear a mask and maintain social distance. Get your goddamn flu shot unless you're actually allergic.
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