TMI-This product may cause sudden explosive diarrhea

Let's talk about sudden, explosive diarrhea.   It is uncomfortable, as you might imagine.  Or maybe you don't have to imagine, because you've had it, and you are now recalling the circumstances that brought you the feeling of ominous death in your guts, your mad dash to the water closet, and the violent expulsion that ultimately, brought relief.

Grapes are supposed to be a low nickel food.  I am way stupid sensitive to nickel in plant based food, so my diet is stupid limited.  (because we don't have enough food issues here, apparently) Grapes are about the only convenient fruit I thought was safe.  4 grapes and 4 hours later, I'm not so sure anymore.

In my reading about explosive diarrhea, I learned that your intestines are made of epithelial cells, which are also the type of cells your skin is made of.  It makes a little more sense now why nickel runs screaming from my body, since even most doctors still consider nickel allergy to be just a skin contact issue.  But in all fairness, even among nickel allergics it usually is.

And while hopefully the vast majority of the excess grape nickel has made its great escape, I must still contend with the residual itch, the small pokey spots that pop up on my face, neck, chest, and arms lest I forget so quickly the consequences of forbidden food.

I am angry.  I am upset that at 36 I can learn how to use a real abacus and also teach my migraine-plagued 7 year old, read Don Quixote in Spanish and English, keep everyone's regular pills, migraine journals, food allergies, emergency meds, and doctor appointment straight, and still have no hope for a future until glorious death frees us from the shit bombs known as Today, Tomorrow, and the Next Day.  No amount of effort is going to cure any of us of anything.  I don't feel like there is much of a point to doing cool nerd things, when what I really need is to have the FUCKING ENERGY TO GROW FOOD.  Food I can't eat of course, but that's hardly relevant since it would be food my kid/s can eat.  This, this is not life.  I walk around in a pretend, fake body, waiting for the end of a pretend, fake world.

We are utterly in God's hands, and God's hands kind of suck right now.  I watch my friends go through cycles of life, you know, highs and lows.  We don't have cycles, just sick, sicker, and completely non-functional.  For years now, that's it!  But maybe Sasha will get so obsessed with abacus math that she'll become a mathematician, make lots of money even WITH continual migraine and disabling corn allergy, and be able to start her own corn free farm, thus revolutionizing food in crap America.

And maybe someday crap food America won't be a wretched majority two-party system of government.  Hah.