This Socks

I don't know why it makes me sad but it does.  I refused for so long to buy a mesh unmentionables bag to wash my socks in.  It's not that I mind wearing matched socks, It's just that since I was a kid, I have worn an awful lot of mismatched for the simple reason that it's a waste of time and energy to go about searching for all the missing socks just to find a matching pair, so long as you have two feet and two socks to put on them.  *sigh*  I swear the universe is trying to teach me some lesson.  It's reached epidemic proportions.  I've slid by for the past couple of years on weather and not needing to wear socks for too many months of the year.  (hail the central coast!) But for the past two years in a row almost all of my new socks have disappeared, it's been a cold winter, and all of my few remaining socks are worn out.  It's the perfect storm.  And as a result of this storm of sock drama, today I purchased the disavowed bag in which to wash my socks.  12 new pairs went in, 12 new pairs came out, and alas they are all matched and sitting in my sock drawer.  I feel like a little piece of me has not died, but kissed never never land goodbye.

I am way more confused that sad really.  I mean, I have a 6 1/2 and a 4 1/2 year old.  Granted, a lot of their socks spend time in the lost sock box, but most of them eventually come out of there!  And a lot of socks have made it through both kids before wearing out, and those are some tiny pieces of clothing!  Then there's my Mom who bypasses the problem entirely by having 700 pairs.  No joke, she's kind of bachelory in that she'll buy more rather than launder sometimes.  I have vowed several times to never again sort her socks but every so often I still do, since I pilfer her collection when I get desperate for footwear, which has happened increasingly of late.  Which led to an interesting dilemma at Target today.

I stood in the hosiery aisle at Target after having thoroughly secured my "Mommy" status by being there at 9:15AM and having a cart filled with clothespins, kid hangers, a mesh bag, and bananas, and contemplated my options.  There were long funky but cheap looking sock, ones I could see myself wearing and my mom not stealing, ones I could see myself wearing but my mom stealing, and just old boring ones like my mom would wear to work.  Funny thing about my Mom is that she thinks she doesn't steal my clothes, but she totally does.  But like I said, I "borrow" her socks so...anyway, I went with the ones I thought she would be least likely to steal, inadvertently or otherwise.  (advertently?)  But now to keep my feet warm, I can't just throw my sock willy nilly on the floor in the hallway with the rest of the laundry! What a dumb piece of grown-uppery! I was bullied into shaving my legs when I was 12, and plucking my eyebrows around 19.  Mesh bagging my socks in my 30s, what's next, watching Downton Abby?!  I just started watching 30 Rock!!!