Zebra Children

"Mom."
"What?"
"This morning I felt bumps on my cheeks so I got up and looked in the mirror and they are all pink."
"WHAT?!?"

10,000 thoughts started racing through my head at 7AM, like what we've been eating, what we did the day before, how much sun they girls have been in, every product I've been using on their skin and the frequency I've used it on their skin in the past week, month, and year.  Since we've been extremely limited in diet, the food should be pretty easy to figure out at least.  But since I've been pretty migrainy lately, nothing is easy.  It took me about 45 minutes to remember that the one thing we ate the night before that we haven't had in months is asparagus.  Roasted damn asparagus.  Now Emily's got a big, raised, bumpy hive on one side of her face, and a medium raised bumpy hive on the other, plus a bit of dry throat and runny nose.  And I can't send her to school like that because if she so much as coughs, they'll stab her with with her epi pen and send her to the hospital.

I spent the rest of the morning trying to determine if it IS the rare but not unheard of asparagus allergy or perhaps just something more simple and normal, like scarlet fever.  Being this was a Friday, I imagine waiting out the weekend will tell us.  Come Monday, turns out I think it's a bona fide effing asparagus allergy. REALLY?!?  Because we needed something else to avoid?!?!!!  I guess I should call the allergist, I'm just getting tired of seeing the inside of that office. (glazed stare)  I just don't want to see some idiot nurse practitioner who is going to tell me that it's atopic dermatitis and waste my time.  It's frustrating as hell.  And I'm about ready to cry that we're about to miss another playdate because it's going to interfere with my nap time, and because everyone's making PB&Js.  Maybe Grandma will take them.  And if Grandma takes them and they Don't make PB&Js then maybe...maybe...

There's a saying in the medical world, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.  That saying makes me laugh.  I'm sure it holds true in North America, where modern horses were introduced by the Spaniards.  But what does the African medical world say?  And take for instance every migraine remedy that's ever worked for every other person that hasn't worked for me.  I am such on the extreme end of migraineur, and my children on the bizarre end of food allergy and sensitivity.  We are the zebra children of North America.  And truth be told, I've always been a zebra child on this continent.  What to effing do...?  For all the research my phone allows me to do on the fly, I'm about ready to throw it out the window that it can't keep me from getting sick, can't allow my girls to eat whatever they want.  At least it still tunes my guitar.

Speaking of, it tuned my guitar when I led worship on Sunday, last minute for a small church I occasionally help out when their worship leader is gone.  And I felt just good enough to do it.  Just when I think I am forgotten, turns out I am not.  The girls couldn't go to Sunday School because it involved trail mix :-/ but I dusted off my guitar and my voice.  Grandma's a hoss (already knew that) and kept the little zebras in line.  Not, bad.  Trail mix?  We don't need no stinking trail mix.