Fuuuck migraine. Mourning is valid, anger is valid. Frustration can be motivating. Being smashed against a wall over and over forces you to be creative, or turned to pulp. Okay. *meditative breath* I am not a crap teacher, Emily has a neurological disease for which she was withdrawn from school. Her state test math score reflects that. Ugh, every waking day that I have tried to teach her math reflects that since migraine reentered her life. Her English Language Arts/Literacy score reflects it less because she still reads obsessively, even though she doesn't read what I assign her. Math is the hardest thing for her to grasp through brain fog, even though it was never a problem before, neither in english or spanish. It is a casualty of war, and that pisses me off so badly.
I don't know how this works either. Is migraine such a disease that you can form new neural pathways around it? Or do you just have to be extremely strong willed and self motivated to power through it? Or does being extremely strong willed and self motivated allow you form new neural pathways?! Clearly it's not always possible. But when you're chronic and not always fighting all the symptoms, you just have to find ways to function sometimes. I have been trying to teach Emily this. The kid wants to return to classroom school in the foreseeable future so I told her that we'd take this year to catch up and see where she was. We are five days in and far too familiar with the fight.
I'm going to have to do some restructuring around here. First I need to go to bed, I'm starting to hallucinate. I kicked a lot of food's asses today, way overdid it. Bet you didn't know cabbage and zucchini had asses. They do, and they got thoroughly kicked. Boom.
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