We are better. It has taken most of June for me to realize this, and it's still hard to type as I sit here with my stomach hurting, also having had to give Sasha rescue meds today because we ventured to the aquarium thus "overdoing it." But the numbers are good despite how our bodies feel today.
Ow. Ow. Ow. (says the abdominal migraine) Since going to the hospital for DHE infustions that week in May, I can actually combat some migraines with rest a la years gone by. As in, my head can even go so far as hurting a little, and I can lay down and the migraine might even go away with time instead of taking me out for several days by then. Incredible! That hasn't happened in years. And when I'm not in pain or fighting an active migraine, I am a more functional human being. Still not a normal level of function mind you, but more functional than I have been in months, and any amount of progress is good.
I might even have had several fewer med days this month than last except that I had a dentist appointment one day for cleaning, and then a small cavity filled the next. Two days of people digging in my face and staring at a great glowing orb equals four days of bonus migraine, apparently, but what are ya' gonna do? I have one more small cavity that needs filling on the opposite side of my face next week, wish me luck. They approve my brushing and flossing habits, so how did those even happen anyway?! Maybe something about me not going to the dentist in several years had something to do with it, I don't know.
Stupid stomach, stop hurting!! So anyway, I guess 10 rescue med days a month is well enough to start weaning off the gross amount of anti-seizure meds I'm on. The latest studies show that unless you're an outlier, there really isn't a benefit to being on ten billion milligrams per day like I am. So we'll see how that goes. Of course, abdominal migraine in adults is also rare. Also my new prescription never made it over to the pharm. Did I mention I have a phobia about insurance/medical mistakes? This one will be fixed soon I hope. There's a rumor that backing off on the meds may lead to me having more energy, assuming I don't go all migraineville like every other time we've tried backing off on the meds. But I'm better now, right?! [totally NOT panicking. (0.o)]
Had a fun new pre-migraine symptom today: Not being able to comprehend what other people are saying. It's much more normal to not be able to get words out correctly, and I understand the two are related. I've just never had it happen to me before. I mean, I've had a hard time paying attention to what my mom is trying to tell me before if I'm not feeling well, but this just seemed more pronounced. Normally I feel worse if it's going to be so hard to follow, but tonight I just had no idea what the girls were trying to tell me for a while. Stupid brains. But in happier news, the piano has been unearthed and I have been playing it. So there, suck that Aphasia!
And my dear Sasha. We upped the new meds and she stopped needing rescue meds every damn day! Also her face broke out in unending rash. So I fiddled with a different capsule and it got a bit better, and now I'm fiddling with a different filler. Again, with us luck. Sasha is doing way better on the migraine front unless we leave the house or go anywhere or do anything. So that puts a damper on my getting-her-into-first-grade plans. I mean, progress rules, so I'm stoked that she's not getting medicine overuse headaches from daily caffeine or anything, but...damn it she's SIX YEARS OLD!!!!! I want more for her than perpetual face rash and being stuck at home with me.
So I guess life isn't the toxic wasteland of several months ago. There are fewer rescue meds and more music. No one's life is in imminent danger. But I have more fear than anything. More like trepidation and dread about the long term. I don't bow to it, but all day every day it's there. Even when it's underfoot it's never far. There is little peace in an existence like this. There is jealousy, bitterness, and a hell of a lot of coveting. But I'll take any amount of progress, and I'm very glad we're not where we were. I do hope we keep getting better.
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