My biggest remotely attainable dream right now is to have a worship night at my house, I think. As in, I think it's attainable, maybe. Damn it, ok probably not, but that's why it's a dream. But it's not like my dream of the girls and my mom and I running a marathon together while eating cheap, nut-laden protein bars. That's more like a "fantasy". Stranger things than worship night at my house have actually happened. You know, like when I got paid for working in the field of my degree and shit like that.
Speaking of paying, here's a fun fact. I'm now taking half the amount of meds I was taking before, milligrams wise. And I'm paying almost 7 times the amount for it. Same medication, smaller pill, fewer milligrams. Because insurance. *facepalm* Yup, still working on that one in my infinite spare time and energy, when I'm not making food for Sasha, or getting migraines. Please you guys, don't ever EVER get any kind of sick ever. Also exciting is that two weeks after Sasha saw her neurologist, she finally started her new prescription. (because the stupid compounding pharmacy dragged their ****ing feet) It's going to take an entire month to wean from the old one tho, so hell if I'm going to know for sure how the new one's affecting her for a good long time. Convenient, since school begins fairly shortly.
My God, school. Maybe Sasha will magically stop getting migraines and not have any new face or body rash. That would be awesome. Maybe she really WILL enter first grade and all I'll have to do is figure out how to feed her at school and keep her safe from corn and fight all Emily's school-food battles too! You know, our lives would be infinitely easier if Sasha could even eat all the available local corn-free food. She could have apples, berries, kiwi, persimmon, beans of all sorts, tomatoes, winter squash, stone fruits, eggs, I mean the list is huge. But for whatever fucking reason, all those foods drive her insane. She absolutely loses her mind and becomes completely unreasonable and throws fits. But, at least now she now has a Physical Therapist who is a Giants fan, who bonus, has an office dog. No one local (who takes her insurance) will see a 6-year-old for Biofeedback so she just got referred to physical therapy instead. Again, don't get sick, and don't let your kids get sick.
See, this right here is why I need a worship night. The problem is, I haven't seen a great reduction in migraine medicine days this month vs the last two. If I can go the next 4 days sans meds tho, it'll be the first time I've had fewer than 10 rescue med days in a month in 2 years, since July 2013. I'm still paying out the nose energy-wise the next day for any more functional days, which is a potential problem with worship night, or in fact any awesome activity requiring effort. And being the limited, drought ridden zucchini season, we're bustin' tail over here to process as much as we can for winter, since it's one of the few foods Sasha can eat that's not a leafy green. And as anyone who as ever busted tail can tell you, it takes quite a bit of effort.
A friend of mine asked recently how many doctors I had seen. I had never stopped to count before and it turns out, more and more just kept coming to mind over the next several days. Between the girls and I and GPs, Allergists, Neurologists, Chiropractors etc, I had officially lost count. I like Sasha's Physical Therapist. He wrote down short term and long term goals, made good eye contact, was a good listener etc. Beside that he had a picture of Matt Cain throwing his perfect game on the wall. I am afraid our medical personnel parade is never going to end, and I don't know how to survive like this. It sure feels like something has to change but I know people live in lots worse circumstances than us. I also know that we were not mean to live in a constant state of haggard, worn, pained, and beaten.
Oh well. Soup(made of greens), zucchini, cabbage, lettuce, broccoli, cheese(one kind), frozen avocado, and fish. For these I am truly and utterly grateful.
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