My brain was different today. I guess there isn't any reviewable evidence to back up that claim, but given my history, it's probably a reasonable conclusion. My brain felt different. No rescue meds since about 11:45 last night (second round for the day) but getting moving this morning reminded me of college. That happens, that wasn't the different part. The different part might be good? Migraine does change over the course of one's life...hm. The problem is that people who have migraine with aura are 4 times more likely to have a stroke last I read. And I'm not sure what today was. When you're never sure if you're coming into or out of a migraine, it's hard to say if it's aura or postdrome aka "migraine hangover". I just always feel like shit. But this shit was different.
I told my mom it was like my brain sat in water and couldn't dry off. I guess it's more like my brain sat in fuzzy and couldn't shake it. I felt drugged and weird all day, even tho I hadn't taken anything besides my regular preventatives since the night before. It reminded me of a couple of years ago when I could hardly move for half a day, my body was so exhausted. Recalling information and details was hard, I was dropping things, blegh. I finally started to feel less crappy toward the evening. I'm really hoping there is no raging migraine waiting to crawl out of my brain at 3am god I HATE THOSE!!!
Today is Wednesday? My dear neighbor passed away on Sunday, and all the neighbors have been having a hard time. She went in her sleep but it was unexpected. I guess sleeping has been hard for a couple of nights. It is a comfort to be part of a neighborhood where we can mourn together. My Dad's funeral was the first one. How many neighborhoods weep together? We are fortunate to go to each other's weddings, anniversaries, and funerals. I do dream of living in a house with a more functional kitchen, maybe not right off a freeway in the backyard, but I just don't know how I'd be able to get all the neighbors to agree to move with us. Guess I'll save that problem for another day.
I've been reading about adenosine triphosphate. Do you have any idea how much shit nobody knows about the human body? It's mind boggling. Not that we don't know about ATP, but in just trying to get a basic understanding of cellular biology and neurochemistry, there's all kinds of guess-work involved. But that makes sense. The more I learn about allergies vs other body sciences, the more it seems like that's really in its infancy. Of course, we know crap tons more than we did a hundred years ago. *shrugs* So anyway, I don't know what I'm hoping to do, but in my constant quest for energy and constant struggle under migraine, I was curious if there was any connection, or what role ATP might play in migraine. Turns out, there are a lot of big words to look up. Good thing I look looking up big words while drooling on the couch.
Of course, I'd like to not be drooling on the couch. I'd prefer to have appropriate amounts of ATP running around, being recycled in my cells and not being recepted improperly anywhere. Because eff that mess. I need this stupid brain for just a little longer.
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