The Ridiculon

I guess what I really want is a laser beam to come out of the middle of my forehead.  Not to blow stuff up, but to communicate things succinctly.  Ok, and sometimes to blow stuff up.  It would have saved me so much damn energy on days like Friday, when I spent the time I had, but the energy I didn't explaining why I needed more than one goddamned set of epi pens, how I had already paid Emily's neurologist out of pocket no less, and how I was up a creek until my insurance decided to get their butts in gear, fix their mistake, and approve me a new neurologist already.  It would have been nice to have the day before that at the girls' dentist office when I was explaining what corn derivatives do to Sasha, why it's a problem that I can't find ingredients in the products they use (except for potential tree nuts) and why we have to modify the papers if I'm going to sign them.  However, no amount of stop-wasting-my-energy-please-beam would have been helpful when lo-and-behold I did magically get approved for a new neurologist the day I stormed the office and demanded answers.  Third time really was the charm!

While approval should have taken a week it took a month and a half, thanks to a code mix up somewhere in the bowels of my insurance.  And where I was only getting 8-9 migraine days a month on Botox, I've had 13 last month and 14 so far this month.  We'll see what the numbers are for this grand, terrible experiment by the time I meet Monsignor new neurologist come December 2.  I refuse to speculate on whether or not he'll actually be helpful. *slight wave of nausea*  I've ordered one more supplement to add to my regimen, resigned the ability to parent or keep the house clean [at all]for a few months aaaaaaaaaaaaand...I think that should do it.  Oh, and I have to ration the meds and time them just right for driving so i can get the kids to and from school, etc & etc.

I literally stayed in bed almost all day today.  I took heavy meds last night because after explaining everything to everyone, my body gave out.  Is Emily seriously Dr. Michelle's only effing food allergy patient?!?  'Aint nobody got time for that!!!!!  Now I'm in long ass crappy road trip mode.  Short on gas, short on food, and it's hot outside.  Not making it is not an option.  Ready, go.

I know it sounds a lot like despair, but it's not.  It's processing.  I write and burst into tears now so I don't do it while I'm driving...as much.  I'm trying to regain patience with my kids.  Ugh.  I bet there's a german word for when you stare at your own life with morbid curiosity as to what will happen next.  In other news, I ate cereal out a salad bowl tonight.  And by salad bowl I mean a bowl made of a piece of lettuce.

Me: "Girls, look at this piece of lettuce!  It's shaped like a bowl, I could totally eat cereal out of it!"

Em: "Haha, no you couldn't!"

Sasha: "Haha!"

#entertheridiculon