I'm hungry, and tired, and I've had a migraine for way too long. 8 days out of 8 and I won't even write down the phrase that just came to mind. It's too late for me to be starting a blog post, but I'm not sure that matters much right now. Mmmmmm, a donut matters right now. Oh the things that come to mind. Really, the important stuff is as follows:
-Sasha's maladies have gone from fever and chills and body aches, to croup, to a nice wet cough, to a double ear infection and plugged up hearing, to just plugged up hearing and only occasional mild ear pain. And it only took about a month to get through all of that. Considering that she hasn't been sick enough for meds in about a year and a half, I'd say that's not bad. But omg...
-Emily's 5 day abdominal migraine went away finally, but not without her fighting me tooth and nail to drink less than a cup of coffee as per her neurologist's instructions. For 4 hours solid.
-In addition to no snacks being served in Emily's class, there is now no birthday food allowed in Emily's and a few other classes at Emily's school, only non-food birthday treats. Because she's not the only kid with allergies, hello!
So, Huzzah, I think I really do only have one school's worth of food to worry about. Which is awesome because I don't think I'd make it otherwise. There is somehow a hold-up in getting a reference to a new neurologist to do botox, imagine that! I am truly a little confused as to why Jesus hasn't healed me yet. I figured this was my chance. I upped all the vitamins and supplements to all the levels that work for everyone else and figured this was my chance. But, whatevs. What can you do but give up daily? I used to try daily but really the key to success is accepting that you're going to fail. You are going to fail and everyone is going to fail but somehow this world keeps spinning doesn't it? The cupcakes don't get made and neither do the beds but somehow the Lord provides something to eat and a place to sleep. And 'though your head may burn and maybe your hair doesn't look the way you want it to, but maybe your kids got to school enough days this week.
I sure hope for better. I keep hoping that some year I'll actually participate in helping at Emily's school, besides of course being that crazy food allergy mom screaming about no-nuts this and that. (You're welcome school) Hey, I actually sold cookies with nuts in them this year! I'm going to pick up frozen cookie dough with nuts in it, not freak out, wrap it in garbage bags, and deliver it to my cousin! You're welcome school!!! But I hope someday to tread water, instead of just floating on the current. I hope some day to dream of swimming, in an actual direction, instead of just treading water. Although, there is a certain freedom in completely letting go, because there is no point in trying to hold on to anything, because it just gives you more migraines than you're already going to get.
It's not as bad as it sounds. Even with 8 days of 8 on migraine meds, I still took care of the kids, with loads of help from my Mom of course. They got to school on some of those days, wore clothes, ate food, got their meds...we may have even left the house voluntarily at some point, I don't really remember. Oh yeah, we totally did! We had an awesome visit with some family! We went to the aquarium, the beach, the whole 9 yards. See, not all bad at all. And I'm so happy to see the kids doing better. I just wonder how long I can let go of everything and be free before I disintegrate. Actually, that's an illusion. That's how I have to think of things, when really I'm wound up so tight I'm about to implode.
Why are there no Gluten, Nut, and Corn free donuts in this house right now? That is the real question. If only Sashily's kitchen were real.
#becauseeatingshouldntsuck #migrainessuck #donutsaregood #sashilysnonutsdonuts
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