Clearly I was wrong about not writing anymore. I still need somewhere to dump about the peanut butter anxiety dreams I'm still having. And even our new normal of pain, anger, and tears needs crunching through and processing. I have acknowledged that this is where we are, we have moved in, but we're still painting and unpacking I guess. Moving always sucks, even if you're good at it. Below is my brain dump from Tuesday.
"Today Sasha cleaned her room until she started throwing up a little. It really was only a little compared to yesterday. Or was it the day before? It's probably in the migraine journal or the bullet journal but really, Sasha puking is normal. She wanted to keep cleaning but I made her stop because puke means her head is not cooperating as much as it can.
Emily is having trouble yesterday and today thinking clearly and remembering things, like why she came into a room or what I just asked her to do exactly one second ago. But I made her do part of a practice test anyway bc testing is in April and I want to make sure she is doing all the grade appropriate work and we're not missing anything. She's always been fine with testing, it has never been an issue. But she does cry and wail when she has to do any work of any kind with a migraine, which is unfortunately most of the time. So I literally held her in my lap while she cried for maybe an hour and did practice test questions until Sasha needed attending to. Then Emily cried when she didn't know what to eat for lunch and I made her eat something, because not eating can trigger more migraine. God, it was awful, the noise. I mean, and the fact she was suffering, obv.
Friends came over for about an hour and a half this afternoon. I considered calling it off bc Sasha's head was already hurting, but she begged me not to. It was a lovely visit we all enjoyed very much, but by the end Sasha was definitely feeling it. Then her pain kept increasing until she took all available meds, a rare second 1/2 cup of coffee, used heat and ice packs, essential oils, had a massage, and watched cartoons and a movie until 9:30pm when she was comfortable enough to sleep, thankfully. She said her pain was only a three, but she was crying, it hurt so badly. She was still able to talk through it although not easily, so I'm saying this was a solid 6. She wasn't holding her head, pacing, and mumbling incoherently so it's definitely been worse.
And honestly except for the friends over and the second cup of coffee, this was a pretty normal day. Vomit, tears, and symptom management. And science, bc we learned why bumblebees squirt water out of their heinies."
Today has not been quite as dramatic. Sasha was in pain this morning, accompanied by one of her main emotional symptoms, anger. We smelled oils, she did Cefaly, we watched My Little Pony, the usual. We all decorated our new art journals. Then the girls wanted to play in their room. I called them out to watch a 20 minute art video from our new curriculum. I said we would just watch the video to see what it was about, not actually attempt anything yet. Em had a complete meltdown and wailed through 15 minutes of it since her other option was writing sentences.
Now, we had talked this morning about coping mechanisms and how we were going to handle the next crying fit, but hadn't really come up with anything. Sasha is at the point where she can tell me she's angry, she can draw a picture of it, and we can smell oils and get through it. Em is still at a loss. Maybe half an hour after she had calmed down she was able to write a sentence in her journal about what happened, so that is our progress for the day so far. I am comforted in that all these goings on are normal for migraine. We fly huge migraine flags and wear the migraine outfits and everything. Someday it would be nice to just have an awareness bracelet or something.
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