Thursday, December 1, 2016

Steven and christians

People keep asking about Steven, so I guess I should update.  Yup, I am continually impressed by the amount of effort he puts into our relationship.  It's not all peaches and ukuleles, but he does well when he cares to.  He just never cared to before.  He cares very much now.  A wise woman once told me that men don't start maturing until they're 25.  I think Steven started maturing like, closer to age 40.  But some people never mature so it evens out.  I think that means he'll have a mid-life crisis when he's in his 80s?  Anyway, we're still technically married and it doesn't feel like a technicality anymore.  That's convenient.

Sasha has been doing better for the past couple months.  There is usually some level of pain or nausea going on, but it has been much more manageable.  We haven't experienced days and nights and weeks of epic misery on end like we were before.  I am so grateful for that.  Her life is still such a muddled pool of oddity tho.  If she weren't such a weird kid to begin with, she might be a little easier to untangle, but I'm sure it's all connected somehow.  So while most days are still a struggle of some sort, one day here and there isn't.  And while I am so, so grateful to be better off, I desperately wish to be even more better off than we are now.  Like, can we have maybe 2 or 3 good days in a row?  Blagh, I've gotta keep my head down, keep it in the game.

Emily is fatigued as always.  We may have gotten her a teensy bit more stable by removing soymilk beverages.  She had been sad for a few days so we ran to the aquarium on a whim.  It made us all very happy.  Very migrainey, but very happy.  I can't imagine what it's like to withdrawal from school due to illness and fatigue.  I wasn't sideswiped until college, I had a childhood and everything!  So while we do commiserate on many levels, we still have to deal with each other's unique experiences, which is difficult for me as I am constantly trying to educate the monsters.  At least it's not hot outside anymore.  And zucchini season is over, and pear season for that matter.  Just waiting on Avocados.  Avocados and energy.

Anger helps keep me motivated.  I'm angry at christians, they are the worst.  I have been thinking about this particular issue for a few years now on the backburner, and I have come to the conclusion that as an American and as a christian, there is no justification for not serving homosexuals if you claim to be a christian business owner.  Like the infamous bakery example.  You're not promoting gay marriage if you bake a cake for a gay wedding, unless you put an ad in the paper for free wedding cakes to gay couples.  If you refuse to bake a cake for a gay wedding, you're not stopping the wedding, you're discriminating.  And as a christian it's not up to you stop what you see as immoral activities anyway, that's not how evangelism works.  Pull the damn log out of your own damn eye for God's sake, and feed people!  Feed everyone!!  Did you know feeding your enemies is an effing biblical mandate?!

By the way, can you imagine what would happen if you started a relationship with people whose lifestyles you don't agree with but you made them food anyway?  Religious freedom and free speech means you can hang a sign in your holy bakery that says you think homosexuality is a sin, but you will gladly bake cakes for homosexual weddings anyway because you want to love people with the love of christ and flour and butter.  Maybe your holy bakery will bake cakes for all the homosexual weddings and you will suddenly have all these gay friends and how friggin rad would that be!  But no, christians are such assholes, they would rather close up shop than actually love their neighbors and heaven forbid talk to them and share the good news.  I can't even.  Let's be christians and elect trump.  It's those same idiots.

So before I even get out of bed in the mornings, I call the government.  I have several Washington DC numbers saved on my phone and I just call until I get through to voice my concern about the idiocy of this upcoming administration.  Thanks christians, didn't have enough to do.  *deep breath*  One day at a time.  Thank Jesus we're back to one day at a time and not one hour at a time.

2 comments:

  1. That is a whole lot to digest. I continue to be amazed and humbled of all you manage to deal with and all the more amazed that you manage to keep faith and hope and optimism. I know its not all the time, but it's genuinely inspiring. It makes me feel like I can handle whatever God puts in my path, even if it's not the trial I would choose. And that I can live by my conviction if I choose. I can't imagine anyone would choose your path willingly, but your choices and effort have made the world of difference to your children and your impact is felt by all who know you. Sometimes it's hard to see how much we accomplish when we struggle. We were quite poor at one point. I remember how painful it was to even go to a store because I literally could not buy anything. I was looking at old pictures and thinking of how happy and close we were. I probably would not have thought so at the time. But some of that closeness is earned through trial. I see that same bond when I see pictures of you and the girls. You have earned your closeness and when you get your moments, you have earned your happy memories.

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  2. Earning memories, I like that. I'm gonna keep it! Thanks for the encouragement. (:

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