Well. I feel like I've said this before, but it's hard to know where to start. I've spent the weekend changing and letting go. I really REALLY wish I could get my tattoos. Let us not forget the other, I Lack Nothing. So let's start with the good.
1. Sasha still feels good and hasn't had prescription pain or puke meds in almost 3 weeks or something. That is hella rad. [that phrase is going to age well]
2. I haven't taken migraine meds every single day this month so that's at least a start. I am adding naps back into my regimen and while I don't consider that good news AT ALL, it is good to have a plan to more forward with.
3. People have been crawling out of the woodwork to support me and it is fabulous.
4. We are still getting man labor. Probably hopefully, I don't see why that will change.
The Bullshit.
As you may have inferred dear reader, I am single again. Steven has a priorities problem, a lying problem, and a new and exciting gambling problem. He is in counseling now (so he says) and is still moving here when terminal leave starts in two goddamn weeks. He is sleeping either on the sofa or with the dog in the office because every other option costs money and he ain't got none because he has even more debt than he told me about because of course he does. Forget paying for his baby momma's car, that is pretty low on my give-a-shit list now since I had to start paying for his debt on my credit card, as he is an emotionally fragile man-baby. I now have to micro manage a destructive adult with the tendency to shut down. I am most concerned about setbacks. My plans are to get him here under my thumb, and keep him too busy working to get in trouble. Lord knows there is plenty here to do. I'm going to start by:
1. Unsmarting his phone so it only makes calls and sends texts.
2. Putting passwords on the computers that the kids know and he doesn't.
3. Taking away all his cards away and giving him an allowance.
That should do until I get my savings back plus all the recent money he owes me? I have no idea what snapped in his brain or when, but I had reservations the whole time we were back together about being married to a lesser quality person. I just figured that no one is perfect and at least the girls would have a dad present. Plus we have always been friends and I did appreciate his friendship. But damn, this is of course grossly and exponentially unacceptable.
I don't guess it matters I'll be micro managing my ex who lives with me as far as it pertains to any future relationship. I feel like that is a negative concern, it matters so little right now. I just want the kids to feel better, and Steven to not ruin my financial future. All right, I have a nap to take.
No comments:
Post a Comment